A Little Life Update

Just knowing what is going on in my neck of the woods.

Boy has there been a lot. Lots of changes and heartache, emotional rollercoasters, and full of sadness. Nothing, I mean nothing, feels the same anymore. This year, I just want over with and rip out the page forever ever more. Not looking back, only going to be looking forward and see the light to my new tunnel. Can that be easier then just saying out in words? Words are easier than seeing the actions. Sometimes its just better to let certain things go and to move on with your life, exactly what I have decided to do.

On May 5 2025, I made the decision to walk from a marriage of 10yrs. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. Still today, I think I should have stayed. Deep down inside, I know that our marriage ran the course down the bend. There was no turning back, literally like I always did. Constantly making excuses, so I couldn’t endure that pain and hardship I know was coming. I just couldn’t live a life where constantly everything was put on me and my fault. We were constantly arguing and fighting. Got even the point, where we got physical a couple times. It was hard loving someone, that no longer loved you, just in love with the idea and a piece of paper. I just knew, I couldn’t live in a life where I was mentally and emotionally abused, worrying if today or tomorrow was going to be a good day, definitely a roller coaster life I didn’t want anymore. Him even acting like everything was dandy and roses. I knew that it was my time to lay our marriage to rest and say our goodbyes forevermore. We have been separated now for 7 months now, I couldn’t be more grateful. There are days I can say that I do miss him and wish we were still together, with different standards. I am in the process of filling divorce and living my life for me. I am not saying I miss on the daily because I do. We created a life together that I thought was going to last forever, but that wasn’t the story to be written. Not saying I am not going to get married again, because I do want someone special to recapture my heart all over again and keep me smiling. So, just have to take this time to finalize everything and to heal my heart, all over again. It’s not easy. It’s been hard, but I have people here in my corner rooting me on and wanting me to succeed and get back to sparkly self.

Also, there hasn’t been much crocheting on in my life. Yes, my crojo is literally still here with me and aching to come out. I am here still trying to find me and what makes me, since coming out of 10yr marriage. I am not letting nor allowing him to stop me. I can honestly tell you that, it’s hard. I can still feel his voice in my ears and feeling those emotions swallowing within their grip. It has been hard, sitting here trying to my find place yet again, but I ain't giving up nor allowing this special gift to leave me, even though I can feel it trying to slip away from me. Why will allow him to win? He hasn’t nor will win over me, even try to take my special gift away. Even, trying to explain to what crochet has given, is like talking to brick wall. But, this is my hobby and peace time, allowing my feelings and emotions into pure joy, captivating through a beautiful canvas. I have dreams and going accomplish these dreams, because crochet is apart of me and remiain deep within my heart. Don’t for a second, think i am walking away. Seeing faces light up through my talent and what I can produce, is like the letters leaving there mark through ink on the paper creating a special moment in feelings. Get ready for past and new designs to finally come alive in the new year ahead.

I am happy for those who have stayed here and continue to show me support. It’s been a battle I am not loosing but winning. Your support is everything to me.

XOXOXO — Stay all warm, comfy, and cozied up!!

Colty Stitched